Make food, that can
easily be warmed and served without a lot of preparation needed such
as left-overs preferably in single serving sizes. Nothing fancy required.
Run errands: post office,
grocery, pick up medicine or supplies, go to the
bank, take books back to the library and bring a new selection.
Baby-sit the other children.
Invite them to play with your kids. Keep them involved.
Take the dog for a walk,
give him a bath, or play with him.
Videotape or record church
services and drop them off.
Send a card. Send their
loved one a card. Don’t forget them when you don’t see them for
awhile. They haven't forgotten you, their attention in spent making
life and death decisions and that's exhausting.
Understand that a clean
house, nails that aren't manicured, clothes that don't match, etc. are
going to happen. Personal care comes second.
If you have the skill, go to
their home to cut and
fix their hair. Help wash and fix their loved one’s hair.
Drop over for a cup of tea,
make it and sit down for a little bit. Realize that they may not
want to talk, but having a supportive friend sharing a few minutes
with them can make a difference.
If you are asked to leave, or
they don’t feel like talking, don’t take offense, simply say, ok and
remember you are the one who has been telling them all along, “you
should take care of yourself.”
There sleep cycle is not
11p-7a. it is centered around love and care of their family member. When
they are sleeping in
the day, remember that everyone needs to sleep once in awhile.
Clean the house, wash the car,
wash clothes, or water plants. These are task that fall behind or
get forgotten all together when a medical crisis happens.
If it’s Christmas, help
decorate tree and house, or hang lights outside. Help the family
celebrate holidays since it is a part of living.
Help them put the seasonal
Help address cards,
Christmas, birthday, valentine’s …
Shovel snow, rake leaves,
mow the lawn, plant some flowers.
Bring some firewood for a
warm, cozy, fire. Stay for roasted marshmallows.
Bring Calgon, or
chocolate and strawberries, … some favorite things to feel a bit
Pick some fresh flowers and
leave them on a vase on the table.
Bring goofy things like
paper towels with fun designs, soft toilet paper, silly note pads,
balloons, cool toothpaste, colorful pillowcases…
Leave an Easter basket at
door, leave an “I care” note on the door, leave it anonymous. Hide
Easter eggs around the house, the yard.
Hang gold angel bows on the
trees outside, signaling your love.
Continue to invite them out,
even if they can’t go with most of the time.
Add your name to my “e-bail
list” so they know who to call when one of us needs it.